A contradicting force of nature


Another story, of another day, in another life, of another person. In reading through many more posts I have found the following to be true. They are all different, yet the same. They are all unusual yet normal. We all bleed, we all cry, we all laugh, we all love. We are all individuals in our own right with our own experiences, yet we have all gone through leaps, hurdles, and obstacles.

My sad, happy, or struggling stories are the same as in everyone else has them too. They vary in degrees. Some may be better or worse than mine, which makes me no better or worse than anyone else. I am no one special. I am just as crazy as everyone else on the planet, it’s just that some do not want to admit to their craziness. What I do with the craziness, how I react my own personal situations, how my experiences have molded me, and what lessons I have taken from them is what makes me different.

In my self analysis, I have come to admit that I am a contradicting force of nature. My heart will feel one thing in any given situation, but my head will see another. In my self separation, I have become quite a skilled observer. I am both blessed and cursed with being able to separate and see things from an objective point of view. A benefit when trying help someone, a hinderance when trying to get close to someone. I have an uncanny knack for seeing the truth and for seeing more than what I should be able to. This also is a blessing and a curse. When it comes to the truth, most people actually do not want to know it, see it, or admit it. Seeing things I shouldn’t be aware of is not always pleasant. Coincidence? Maybe. Intuition? Possibly? Uncomfortable? Almost always.

Which leads me to the topic of……. conversations. I don’t even know where to start, so I guess I’ll put it this way: We have conversations with others according to what we know, which is usually based off of our own personal experiences. Well…. most of my experiences and topics that I know about are, or at least have been, considered to be taboo. They are usually subjects people do not want to discuss. Almost everyone finds at least one of them interesting enough to talk about, but rarely do you find someone open or willing to take in them all. **and this should be where I state my warning**

First and foremost, I plan on continuing my positive quotes, sharing of blogs I find insightful or funny, or many other possible positive, helpfulness I may stumble across. I believe everyone can benefit from those and can always use a positive reminder or different perspective. I have quite an amazing and interesting perspective myself that I have taken out of my life’s lessons that I hope will be passed on, BUT….. my experiences are extraordinarily varied. They range from one end of the scope, to the other. There may possibly (more like probably) be something that you may find hard to believe or deny entirely… it is actually expected. After all, that is the typical reaction that I get at some point. I always tend to lose someone somewhere along the line for some reason or another, but I am hoping that my experiences will help others with (or through) their own experiences.

I am no expert, I have no formal training in anything, I just have my life (and an interesting one at that). These are the things that I have had experiences on, that if I continue to share my life’s stories, I will be sharing….. Sex, drugs, and rock n roll. Ok, ok, maybe not exactly. Sex? Yes, but not in detail or anything like that. Drugs? Yep, that too. Rock n roll? Uh, sorta… more like music in general. And then here is the rest of the list….. death, miracles, paranormal, spiritual, God, spirit/energy/earth, evil, mental abuse, physical abuse, kidnapping, rape, molestation, depression, self-esteem, mental illness, drowning, trauma, visions, dreams, nightmares, trust, meditating, faith, despair, hope, insight, art, creativity, life…. and pretty much everything in between. I wanted to put psychic, but I don’t consider myself that so I guess I could say psychic phenomenon. ? Maybe that falls into paranormal. Eh, who knows…. surely not me.

I will also state that if there is anything in particular you are interested in reading about, feel free to mention it. Otherwise… i think I will attempt (key word, attempt) to start from the beginning as I have already started to (see my “and then there’s me” post.

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Filed under My life as I know it

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