First, this post is gonna sound mean. Especially considering who I will be reffering to, but I have a hard enough time handling people, let alone stupid people. Ok… they may not actually BE stupid, but wea all know that we all have our stupid moments. It’s just that Ive dealt with stupidness at work, people and technology alike, and a person can only keep their mouth shut for so long before something inconsiderate flys out of it. NOTE: this post is my something inconsiderate being said. With that said…. here’s my complaint.
Sigh…. after all that (& several hours later) i have changed my mind as to what I was going to say. I do not plan on having any of my close, personal family read any of these posts but one can never be to sure. And since what i was going to say may make me come across as a cold hearted b!tch…. i won’t say it that way. It isn’ t fair.
There are 2 sides to every story and we can usually only tell one from a personal perspective. Its just that i really wish people would use more common sense.
My mom said something to me today which annoyed me to know end. Lately shes been doing that alot. My problem is i know there is more than what she says. She is ill, and i believe it is quite bad. I have been watching her deteriorate over time. I have made suggestions on what to do in the begining, i told her what to do after awhile when the suggestions stopped working, and on multiple occasions when really matters, i have held her hand and have done things for her. I cannot continue to do that. Its just so hard. It is difficult to go through and its difficult to watch, so i chose not to watch.
I have learned the very hard way that you cannot help someone who will not help themselves. You cannot help them if they do not want to help themselves. You can only sit by and wait.
Yes, this post turned into something other than what i intended, which tends to happen when it takes me all day to write it, but i get tired of seeing these things in other people and not being able to help. Its painful and it wears on me.
There are a few family members’ health that are beyond help. Its just a matter of time. I can see it, but i can’t do a thing about it. So what do… i pull away. I seperate myself. Exspecially when i have already tried to help but they have refused to listen.
I just get frustrated with seeing more than i should be able to see. Now its not just with people close, its coworkers. Then its been aquaintences. Now its been people i havent even met. Its a long, complicated story. And all these other incidents in my life add into it.
I am just a bit lost at the moment and i am hoping this blog will help me sort this out. And so i go to bed with a head full of mush, confusion, frustration, and aggrivation.
Tomorow will be better. Hopefully soon i will post another segment from my past. My plan on my next post will hopefully be part of that long and complicated story. Maybe i will just skip, for now, to the presant and explain my current perdicerment and this whole ‘seeing’ things bit.
**note: there may be several typos, but if I wait any longer to post this, it won’t get posted. **