Tag Archives: choices

Polls open…. vote now!

Since I am obviously not going to start a personal background story this evening, I figured I may as well put this out there and see if I get any feedback. You see…. im kinda stuck. I wanted to try to do this chronologically, but I am unsure if I should give personal background first or just jump right in with one of my life stories. So I would like to ask your opinion on what you would like to read (know). There are many choices, which is why I am stuck, and I am not even sure how to categorize them into choices but I will give it a shot.

Hhmmm… maybe divide it up into subject matter?
Paranormal: ghosts, spiritual, dreams, and all around oddities from childhood on up. Feel free to pick a time section, as in childhood, teen, adult.
Death (yes, mine. This also may involve paranormal): Drowning, involuntary drug overdose, carjacking. Yes, I left suicide out since that needs much more background info.
Normal life: this is all the other stuff that i am not exact sure how to divide up. And that would be rape, drugs, family, financial, children, and just about everything else.

I know I have not divided them up very well but there is a lot that intertwines and there are so many stories. I have not been through  everything, but there is so much that I have been through… and then there the empathic bit im struggling with now that even if it’s not me, I know exactly what it feels like.

No, this is not going to be a ‘poor me’ story or a depressing blog. It is meant to be informative and helpful to any who read it, and to me. Each one of the things that have happened to me, happened for a reason. Some of them I know why, some of them I don’t. Either way, I am quite skilled at seeing it from a different angle and taking the lessons out of them.

No matter what, it will be interesting…. that’s just how my life has been. Every day is an event and every day has meaning, sometimes you just have to know to look for it.

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Filed under My life as I know it

Life Is Good

Currently I have a pinched nerve in my back that is killing my arm and my digestive system is being difficult yet again, but….. I am otherwise healthy and alive. For that I am thankful.

As far as money is concerned I am broke, but… my rent is paid, my lights are on, my air conditioner works, and my kids are fed. For that I am grateful.

There never seems to be enough time for the things on my ‘to do’ list, but…. I have fulfilled my deadlines, rescheduled a thing or two to not only my benefit but others as well, was able to stretch my downtime to relax more, and was able to get a post in. For that I am satisfied.

My children have defied, angered, or ignored me yet again, but…. they have each done at least one tremendous good for me, themselves, or others and it has shown how much they have learned, grown, and actually were listening to me. For that I am proud.

No, things are not as well as I would like them to be but…. the are better than they have been and significantly greater than they could be. For that I am blessed.

Sitting within the shadows can limit your views to the dark spots that are there, but…. sometimes you need to step out of the shadows in order to see all the bright spots and feel the warmth that is already there. Then you may see that for this moment, which is the only moment that matters right now, and it is a moment that will never come again…. life is good.

 

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Filed under Here's a thought...

Difficult decisions

sharing the love today 😉

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Filed under Off on a blogging Adventure!

Life is unfair

One day to a new beginning

One day to a new beginning (Photo credit: Nomadic Lass)

We have all heard the phrase before that life is unfair. Everyone has experienced the unfairness, some of us more so than others.

Sigh…. I am not even sure where I was going with this. It’s just been one if those days. You know, unfair. It all started well, but just went downhill. Not that it was really bad. Oh no, definitely not the worst… not even close. But do you ever get that feeling,after a not so good day, about how ‘off’ things are. You say to yourself ‘somethings not right’, and that sooo helps your mood (not). Yeah, well, its been one of those days.

We go thru the day putting one foot in front of the other just to make it to tomorrow knowing that tomorrow will be better. Deep breath. One day at a time. One step at a time.

I did not want to write this type of post tonight. I wanted to write my challenge that i mentioned a few posts ago. It is a quick ‘me time’ meditation that i do that helps me get thru days or difficult times, like today. It’s an on the spot help you turn your perspective around type of thing. We all have those days so i am hoping that it will help someone else when they need it. It has helped me a lot.

As you can probably tell from previous posts, I am an instants type/post type of person. I have a general plan or idea of what I want to say in my posts, but I type straight from my heart and thoughts at the time. That is part of my reason of starting this in the first place. So many thoughts, so much to say, so much to share…. all in the hopes that it will help someone else. Help either make their live easier, help them cope better, help them heal, help them with life. Make them smile, make them laugh, give them insight, give them hope. Just give something.

Since i tend to be anti-social in the physical world, that can be a little difficult. It is a very justifiable anti-social. definitely been there done that type of thing, and so much more. But such is my life. Worse than some, better than others. Such is everyone’s lives. Its how we cope, deal, and react that make it’s what it is and who we are. Live is an adventure that is meant to be lived and you have to take the bad with the good in order to really make it worth your while. You wouldnt cherish your love or love with you whole heart if you never knew what it was like.

And there I go rambling… again… as usual. Get used to it 😉

The point of my mood….. my closest friend is my aunt. She is the youngest of my moms sisters. We have had similar experiences in life, at different times of course, and have become even closer over the last 2 years. So close we are in sync so to speak. I feel her pain, her joy, her anger (a lot of why i keep my distance from people). It was her husband that was admitted into the hospital last monday due to breathing problems. This was on the same day as her mother, my grandmother, was admitted for a surgery tha could have had bad complications. My grandmother was released on friday. She had looked a little worse for wear after the surgery, actually a lot. Well….. my uncle is still in the hospital. He had looked good, now… not so good. My aunt has been in tears several times the last few days. More so today than any other day. The prognosis is not very good.

Though she has not actually said it out loud, in these specific words, today she felt as if she was just sitting in the hospital with him watching him die. It is a very difficult thing to face. It is the circle of life, and all that other mumbo jumbo, and I have definitely put it in a positive perspective multiple times…. but it is still a very difficult thing to face.

I have been dealing with that today. I have been being her rock to hold onto when she feels as if she’s going under. It wears on me. I hide it well, but it wears on me.
Then i had a dentist appointment. We all love those. The end result, yes. The actual process, not so much. Oh, and have i mentioned my issue of being trapped and not in control. Not such a good thing when in the dentist chair. Along with several other very justifiable issues, the dentist is a difficult trip for me.
And then there the rude & inconsiderate people who seem to think I need their issues too. My husband pointed that out to me after the cashier at circle k was… umm…. not so nice. I was very pleasant and polite, her…. not so much. ***I have a theory on that but if I went into it now, this post would take much longer to read than it is already***

Sigh… got sidetracked again.

Its been a rough day, emotionally, but ive made it through worse. Actually, ive made it through this one since i will be in bed soon.
For those of you who have stuck through my rambling, here’s the light at the end of the tunnel (and the end of this post)…..
There are bad days, yes, and life isn’t always fair, but it is still your life. It is still living, breathing, life flowing energy that interacts and connects with others in one way or another. Take the bad day in and make it yours. Ease the pain of another. Shape it into what you want your tomorrow to not be. Breath it in and let it go. Remember and hold onto the positive. The politeness of a stranger when they held the door for you. The smile from a friend. The hug from your lover. The laughter from your child. Take all those small, simple things from your day, no matter how trivial they may seem and add them up. Those simple things are what will make your today better and your tomorrow brighter. They will take the ordinary and make it extraordinary.
Breathe, remember, and feel them. Let them flow through you and into others. Change yourself, change your environment, change the world…. one conscious thought and possitive emotion at a time.

**I’m figuring out the pics a bit. Now I just gotta spend some time figuring out the formating. nothing like a bunched string of words for a post. It’s looks much better when i type it on my Nook first and save it as a draft, but that’s how I made my other mistake, thought that wasn’t such a bad thing. And I’m still working on the tags too. It’s a learning process. I’ll get there… eventually 😉 **

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Filed under My life as I know it, Off on a blogging Adventure!

Me, a freak? Why of course i am!

We are all freaks of nature. Me. You. They. Us. We.

As if just being a human being isnt enough… heartbeat, soul, emotions, energy, lifeforce…. we have disorders, stigmas, addictions, illnessess, and imperfections.

Overweight, overbearing, overthinking, smoking, alcohol, sex, gambler, poor skin, bad hair, no hair, too much hair, anorexia, bulemia, poor nutrition, enabler, codependant, bipolar, depression, shyness, paranoia, anxiety…. and on, and on, and on.

We are a walking contradiction. We see in ourselves what others fail to see, and at times fail to see what others do. We get angry when other place limitations upon us, yet we seem to consistantly place them upon ourselves.

We all have flaws. But what makes us the same also makes us different. Unique. It is just a matter of perspective. That is something we all have a choice in.

Take a deep breath and a look in the mirror. There looking back at you is a walking, talking miracle. No other person could walk in your shoes as you do. No other person could effect the people or the world around them like you do.

The question is…. how do you choose to effect the the people and world around you? Its your choice, for better or worse, it is your life. What are you going to do with it? It is your life to live. How are you going to live it?

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Filed under Here's a thought...