Tag Archives: thoughts

I Dare You!

Nobody is perfect. This is something that we all know, but we all seem to forget. It does not matter what you do, you will never make 100% of the people happy 100% of the time.

Harry Potter. What a huge success that book series, and then the movies series was. It was liked, and even loved, by so many. Yet there were people who picked and prodded about every little thing, apparently to just find something wrong.

Super Bowl half-time shows. It does not matter who performs (Madonna, The Who, The Black Eyed Peas, Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson), The very next day everyone will be talking about and the internet will be in a frenzy over all the things that were wrong with the show.

And now, the Olympics. Models, time length, performers, performances. Every little thing is picked at and turned upside down to be analyzed under a microscope. Was it perfect? Probably not, if humans were involved.


Seriously?! There is a saying that comes to mind…. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Say Hooray to those who follow their dreams. Hooray to those who do what they love to do no matter what. Hooray to those who at least have the guts to try to do something good or right.

Find something to be positive about. It’s amazing just how you’re whole mood, day, or life can change just by finding the positive in things and going with it.

I dare you to find something good in that seemingly bad book, movie, or situation. I dare you to overlook the negative and seek out the positive. I dare you to make the world a more positive place for yourself, and for others.




Filed under Here's a thought..., Just rambling along

Polls open…. vote now!

Since I am obviously not going to start a personal background story this evening, I figured I may as well put this out there and see if I get any feedback. You see…. im kinda stuck. I wanted to try to do this chronologically, but I am unsure if I should give personal background first or just jump right in with one of my life stories. So I would like to ask your opinion on what you would like to read (know). There are many choices, which is why I am stuck, and I am not even sure how to categorize them into choices but I will give it a shot.

Hhmmm… maybe divide it up into subject matter?
Paranormal: ghosts, spiritual, dreams, and all around oddities from childhood on up. Feel free to pick a time section, as in childhood, teen, adult.
Death (yes, mine. This also may involve paranormal): Drowning, involuntary drug overdose, carjacking. Yes, I left suicide out since that needs much more background info.
Normal life: this is all the other stuff that i am not exact sure how to divide up. And that would be rape, drugs, family, financial, children, and just about everything else.

I know I have not divided them up very well but there is a lot that intertwines and there are so many stories. I have not been through  everything, but there is so much that I have been through… and then there the empathic bit im struggling with now that even if it’s not me, I know exactly what it feels like.

No, this is not going to be a ‘poor me’ story or a depressing blog. It is meant to be informative and helpful to any who read it, and to me. Each one of the things that have happened to me, happened for a reason. Some of them I know why, some of them I don’t. Either way, I am quite skilled at seeing it from a different angle and taking the lessons out of them.

No matter what, it will be interesting…. that’s just how my life has been. Every day is an event and every day has meaning, sometimes you just have to know to look for it.

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Filed under My life as I know it

To dream a little (or big) dream… again


I am somewhat excited. Ok, ok… I am trying to keep it to a ‘somewhat’ excited level instead of an overly excited level. My husband is again in pursuit of his dream. Truth be told, it has actually become a family dream. It nice to see him interested again and i am hopeful that everything works out better this time. I can see now that several pieces were not in their proper place before, and I really hope it is not the case this time around. You see, it goes a little something like this….

Between my husband and I we have 5 boys, his mine and ours. The eldest and youngest are 10 years and 4 weeks apart, and depending on the month we are in, the 3 middle are a year apart. Right now they are 14, 18, 20, 21, and 24. In sept itll be 14, 19, 20, 21, and 24. Dec itll be 15, Jan will be 25…. and so on and so forth. It’s always funny when people ask how old my kids are and I stop to think about it. For one because I have to take into consideration what month again, for two their reaction when I name off 5 ages. Well having 5 boys, and being married to another at heart, they are all into gaming. Computer games, D&D, Xbox, you name it… we play it. And of course there’s the smack talk. I’m sure you get the idea, but this is the base of his dream. A business that we can all get into and enjoy, take pride in, do together as a family, and a possible future for our children from our hearts (having a family of 7 really puts a tight grasp on your finances). So after trash talking and gaming with his boys while wishing he could do more for his family he came up with a brilliant idea for a family business. A gaming center.

We discussed it together, we discussed it with the boys. The boys loved the idea. We threw around crazy ideas and legitimate ones. All of us became excited and the idea grew bigger. When we started to doubt, the kids enthusiasm kept us going. We spent a couple of years putting together ideas, plans, and avenues. We kept each other motivated. We still lacked the finances, we’ve both lost our jobs at different points (once at the same point), but there was still this dream we had as a family so we kept at it. We had finally found an angel investor.

It did take some money on our end but not as much as other opportunities and after discussing it with our boys, we decided to pursue this avenue. We worked this avenue for a good year. Sign this, do that, ect. We got as far as forming a corporation and a small business, license in our state. We were sooooo close. Then the economy fell apart.
The investor got cold feet (or lost money in other interests) and backed out of everything he was getting involved in. So… we had a corporation and a business license but still had nothing. We were broke, in debt, and had put our time and energy into this for so long that it was devastating. Within the next year, my father in law passed away and that was it. My husband gave up. It was heartbreaking to see a man give up on his dream but it just didn’t seem like it would ever be something that would work out for us. After so many speed bumps, brick walls, and just about every other obsticle you could come across he gave up hope.

It is now years later and there is a spark of hope again. We have all still talked about opening the business but it was more like a fantasy, like planning on what we will do when we win the lottery. The eldest moved on in his life and joined the Navy, the middle one a few years later did the same. The start of turning this business thing back around was when the middle one stated that the Navy is/was his way of starting our family dream. He planned on establishing good (if not great credit) by the solid job of the military and very little bills, and if everything went the way he wanted he would have a good amount stashed away when he got out so he could pursue the business. Well he is still in the military but, he got married before he left….. his finances are quite what he was planning on.
BUT…. this was the start of the kick in the pants my husband has needed. His boys continue to talk about the family business, continue to want to see it open, continue to have the dream, but most importantly… they have put their heart and desire to do this into it, for both them and their dad. It has opened their fathers eyes.

Lately there have been a few other things that have turned up that have really made him think of pursuing this once more. Things said at just the right time, things seen at just the right time, people met at just the right time to make him stop and think that we should go for this again.

The fact that all of his boys still want to do this, still want to be involved, and still want to this to work really helps to push him into pursuing this once more. He still has a fear that everything will get pulled out from under him once more, but everyday that fear is getting less and less.

I am hoping he once again gets as excited about this as he was before. It is something that he is so passionate about that he gets practically anyone else he talks to excited about it.
Even though we have a lot more to do once again, things have changed in a few years, but it could be worth it in the end.

Wether we start small or go big has yet to be determined, but i will take either way. I am trying to not get too excited as of yet since we are not quite in full swing of pursuing it again, but there is hope. And i can still dream about quitting my current job before we decide 😉

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Filed under My life as I know it

Todays blogging adventure

You woulda thought that is have learned the 1st time I reblogged posts via something other than a pc, but I guess not. Oh well, wanted to share the love, thoughts, and post anyways. Ha ha. Enjoy!

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Filed under Off on a blogging Adventure!, Passing It On

…blah, blah, blah…

I don’t really have much today but I have told myself I would post something everyday, so I am. It’s late (for someone who has to get up at 5am tomorrow), I’m tired, and i feel… well… blah. Don’t get me wrong, things aren’t really bad… it’s just that somethings a bit… um… off. And I don’t know what it is.

It could just be everything (mainly my internal emotions) are settling down after being run over by 5 semi-trucks, or… it could be something else. Which of course I won’t know til it happens. I hate that. I’m looking over my shoulder, just waiting. I’m wondering if I am missing something. Did I forget something? Is everyone ok? Is something wrong? Is it family, a blogger I follow, a coworker, or someone else? sigh… I don’t know… but something is off. Is it bad? Really bad? It may not be that bad, but it is usually a sign of something for somebody, good or bad. It’s a change. A turning point. And it may even be something so small that the person right now doesn’t even realise it.

With everything going on lately I am unsure if it’s that or if it’s just me catching up to myself.

I guess I will just have to wait and see.

I hope everyone is doing well, family and fellow bloggers alike, and if you have by chance had an epiphany or something (hopefully for the better), let me know  😉

Description unavailable

Description unavailable (Photo credit: wakingphotolife:)

This pic is on here because it came up on the recommendations and caught my eye. Beautiful lighting. Hhmm… maybe the ‘off’ is a good thing. Maybe i should have said odd, rather than off. Always nice to end on a nice, peaceful, or beautiful note anyway 😉





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Filed under My life as I know it, Off on a blogging Adventure!

They said it better than me

I have said this myself…. just not as eloquently

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Filed under Off on a blogging Adventure!, Passing It On

But wait… there’s more

My intention this evening is to post that challenge I had mentioned a few odd posts back. But… I’ve got ramble a bit about this blogging adventure first.

This is a "thought bubble". It is an...

I think this thought bubble is too small for all my thoughts. Does it come in a larger size?

1. There is still quite a bit for me to learn and try out, I just haven’t had the time. I also want to try out a different theme but haven’t had the time for that either. When it comes to being decorative with something… I could spend hours working at it. I think I spent 2 hours creating my Dragon Age character once (ok, maybe more than once). I’d love to personalize this a bit more but I need to be able to spend some time on my ass in front of the pc version.

2. As I’ve mentioned somewhat already, I’m finding that blogging is amazing. I am able to check out a ton of other blogs, like them, share them, follow them, and I can do this all without any pressure. With anonymity. The only problem I have found with that is when I do relate with something someone is saying and I do want to say more, I am limited. Everything is open for everyone and some of what I want to say I am not sure is something that needs to be said to everyone. I could go into a very long discussion about that, but I’ll give you one short example. There is a blog I follow that has a daily post. The person was going through a difficult time and didn’t post for a few days and it had me worried. I was concerned about them and really wanted to ask them how they were, say hi, tell them a joke… anything, but I found that I couldn’t. Who the heck am I to bug them and intrude? I am a stranger. But I have sooo much I could say, I have sooooo much to say. I just don’t know how to approach that or even if I should. Times I have reached out instinctively to people in the past have not turned out so well. They usually get a bit uncomfortable and back away.  ….. ok, I can go on and on explaining that in more detail to but if I do, I’ll never get to bed this evening. That’s another story for another post.  😉

So, since I can’t type up a 3 page or so rambling bunch of words with suggestions, ideas, encouragement, or explanations… I will explain my challenge for anyone who reads this in the hopes that those who need it, read it… and that it helps. This challenge is my form of mini, on the spot meditation. It has helped me keep my emotions in check, it has helped me put things into a new perspective, it has helped me turn the negative to positive. I have consciously done this so many times that I can do it without putting a whole lot of thought into it. Now, It’s not that I don’t think anyone else has done this, or knows about it, I just don’t think as many people realise it and utilize it as they should. It may help you, it may not, but it doesn’t hurt to try. So here it is….

Stop. Whatever you are doing stop. Ok, you have to keep reading to know what to do next, but you get the point. While you’re reading this, think about it and try it a bit now, so you can do it later. At some point in your day (i prefer outside), take at least 5 minutes to stop. Everything around us puts of energy/lifeforce/ions or whatever you want to call it. Stop and feel it. Let me try to explain this in order without getting sidetracked and without over explaining. If anyone would like more explanation, I’d be more than happy to.

Stop X

Stop. Deep breath. Focus on yourself. Relax…. Focus on the ground you are standing. Fell the texture, feel the temperature, feel the vibration or movement (or lack of)…. Take another deep breath and take in the scents around you… Feel the air around you. The breeze, the wind, the movement of the air from others… Feel the environment around you. The heat, the cold, the damp, the dry… Breathe in the environment, the life and energy around you….. Focus on taking in and absorbing the good from the earth, nature, and people around you… Focus on releasing and letting go of your negative. Your pain, anger, hate, sadness… Again, breathe in positive, and out negative…. And again, but this time breathe out positive. As you feel and enjoy the good of what is around you, give back to the good that is around you.

You can fine tune this to your own personal preferences, like… create an ‘imaginary forcefield’ around yourself of positiveness. Quite handy for putting scared children (or adults) to bed.

You can take something that is a negative and purposely see it as a positive, consciously change your perspective. Yes, the rain is really messing up your hair, but smell how fresh the air is.

It’s just as simple as this. Take the time to stop and focus your thoughts into something good. In turn you make yourself feel good. In turn you make others feel good. Use the sh!t from the day to make the roses you want to smell tomorrow.

An artificially coloured rose. A white rose is...

I have found that the more I made myself focus and change my energy, perspective, thoughts, emotions, or what have you… the easier it became to do without thinking. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments, but they are much, much easier to talk myself out of. I still panic, have anxiety, depression, anger, ptsd, or whatever else I haven’t mentioned, but most people wouldn’t know it just by looking at me. Talking to me on the other hand, can get a little strange. Often funny, sometimes shocking, but almost always interesting.   😉

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Filed under My life as I know it, Off on a blogging Adventure!

Difficult decisions

sharing the love today 😉

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Filed under Off on a blogging Adventure!

Love Long Lost

I’m trying out the “press this” button tonight.

This blog has beautiful photography, wonderful words, and sparks for inspiration…… check it out!

Love Long Lost.

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Filed under Just for fun, Off on a blogging Adventure!

Life is unfair

One day to a new beginning

One day to a new beginning (Photo credit: Nomadic Lass)

We have all heard the phrase before that life is unfair. Everyone has experienced the unfairness, some of us more so than others.

Sigh…. I am not even sure where I was going with this. It’s just been one if those days. You know, unfair. It all started well, but just went downhill. Not that it was really bad. Oh no, definitely not the worst… not even close. But do you ever get that feeling,after a not so good day, about how ‘off’ things are. You say to yourself ‘somethings not right’, and that sooo helps your mood (not). Yeah, well, its been one of those days.

We go thru the day putting one foot in front of the other just to make it to tomorrow knowing that tomorrow will be better. Deep breath. One day at a time. One step at a time.

I did not want to write this type of post tonight. I wanted to write my challenge that i mentioned a few posts ago. It is a quick ‘me time’ meditation that i do that helps me get thru days or difficult times, like today. It’s an on the spot help you turn your perspective around type of thing. We all have those days so i am hoping that it will help someone else when they need it. It has helped me a lot.

As you can probably tell from previous posts, I am an instants type/post type of person. I have a general plan or idea of what I want to say in my posts, but I type straight from my heart and thoughts at the time. That is part of my reason of starting this in the first place. So many thoughts, so much to say, so much to share…. all in the hopes that it will help someone else. Help either make their live easier, help them cope better, help them heal, help them with life. Make them smile, make them laugh, give them insight, give them hope. Just give something.

Since i tend to be anti-social in the physical world, that can be a little difficult. It is a very justifiable anti-social. definitely been there done that type of thing, and so much more. But such is my life. Worse than some, better than others. Such is everyone’s lives. Its how we cope, deal, and react that make it’s what it is and who we are. Live is an adventure that is meant to be lived and you have to take the bad with the good in order to really make it worth your while. You wouldnt cherish your love or love with you whole heart if you never knew what it was like.

And there I go rambling… again… as usual. Get used to it 😉

The point of my mood….. my closest friend is my aunt. She is the youngest of my moms sisters. We have had similar experiences in life, at different times of course, and have become even closer over the last 2 years. So close we are in sync so to speak. I feel her pain, her joy, her anger (a lot of why i keep my distance from people). It was her husband that was admitted into the hospital last monday due to breathing problems. This was on the same day as her mother, my grandmother, was admitted for a surgery tha could have had bad complications. My grandmother was released on friday. She had looked a little worse for wear after the surgery, actually a lot. Well….. my uncle is still in the hospital. He had looked good, now… not so good. My aunt has been in tears several times the last few days. More so today than any other day. The prognosis is not very good.

Though she has not actually said it out loud, in these specific words, today she felt as if she was just sitting in the hospital with him watching him die. It is a very difficult thing to face. It is the circle of life, and all that other mumbo jumbo, and I have definitely put it in a positive perspective multiple times…. but it is still a very difficult thing to face.

I have been dealing with that today. I have been being her rock to hold onto when she feels as if she’s going under. It wears on me. I hide it well, but it wears on me.
Then i had a dentist appointment. We all love those. The end result, yes. The actual process, not so much. Oh, and have i mentioned my issue of being trapped and not in control. Not such a good thing when in the dentist chair. Along with several other very justifiable issues, the dentist is a difficult trip for me.
And then there the rude & inconsiderate people who seem to think I need their issues too. My husband pointed that out to me after the cashier at circle k was… umm…. not so nice. I was very pleasant and polite, her…. not so much. ***I have a theory on that but if I went into it now, this post would take much longer to read than it is already***

Sigh… got sidetracked again.

Its been a rough day, emotionally, but ive made it through worse. Actually, ive made it through this one since i will be in bed soon.
For those of you who have stuck through my rambling, here’s the light at the end of the tunnel (and the end of this post)…..
There are bad days, yes, and life isn’t always fair, but it is still your life. It is still living, breathing, life flowing energy that interacts and connects with others in one way or another. Take the bad day in and make it yours. Ease the pain of another. Shape it into what you want your tomorrow to not be. Breath it in and let it go. Remember and hold onto the positive. The politeness of a stranger when they held the door for you. The smile from a friend. The hug from your lover. The laughter from your child. Take all those small, simple things from your day, no matter how trivial they may seem and add them up. Those simple things are what will make your today better and your tomorrow brighter. They will take the ordinary and make it extraordinary.
Breathe, remember, and feel them. Let them flow through you and into others. Change yourself, change your environment, change the world…. one conscious thought and possitive emotion at a time.

**I’m figuring out the pics a bit. Now I just gotta spend some time figuring out the formating. nothing like a bunched string of words for a post. It’s looks much better when i type it on my Nook first and save it as a draft, but that’s how I made my other mistake, thought that wasn’t such a bad thing. And I’m still working on the tags too. It’s a learning process. I’ll get there… eventually 😉 **

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Filed under My life as I know it, Off on a blogging Adventure!